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The Day of Ruins

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The Day of Ruins

Post by evilsnes64 on Thu Mar 11, 2010 11:58 pm

I remember. Oh yes, I remember fondly that day, which changed my life. It was a stranger. He did something unusual. It changed everyone who saw.
I was walking on the streets of Herschel, the capital of the country. As always they were crowded, and the stranger was but a child. He raised his arms in excitement as children sometimes do, and raised the sidewalk we were standing on. Thousands of witnesses. With a swift motion, he flipped it upside down.
Something seemed to possess him. The sky turned black. I told him that he had to stop, but his eyes glowed red and dark. Suddenly, He grew tall. Then, beams streamed from his eyes setting fire to the once peaceful city. He was no child. He was a demon.
I took shelter with a group of people somewhere. We all reached a decision that he must be stopped. Quickly we all ran to the arms shop as it was burning down. We grabbed for weapons. We took guns, knives, and swords from the best blacksmiths in the entire universe. The building began to collapse. We all ran outside to face it and be finished with it. But when we came out there was a surprise. There were hundreds of demons waiting to fight our untrained army of twenty.
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I want a little feedback on this. I haven't really done anything of this sort before, so tell me if I should write more or not.
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Re: The Day of Ruins

Post by pokenutter on Fri Mar 12, 2010 9:21 am

Keep going. I think it's pretty good.

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Re: The Day of Ruins

Post by Tadukoo on Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:18 pm

I think you should keep going. You both know about the Lucario.9f.com Story as it was called long ago. I got positive feedback from you two. I took it to mapleanime once, and they did allow it on there, but I got negetive feedback. I kept going anyway. Actually, evilsnes64, I'm not sure if you read it. I think you did. Anyway, you should keep going.

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Re: The Day of Ruins

Post by evilsnes64 on Sat Mar 13, 2010 12:40 am

Thanks, guys. I will. And Tadukoo, I did read the Lucario story. I have to organize my thoughts and I'll write a second part.
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Re: The Day of Ruins

Post by Tadukoo on Sun Mar 14, 2010 1:58 pm

Yeah, I remember now. You went to my website and read it.
Good luck on the second part

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